life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Come on in and take your pants off
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