I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
