Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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