I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
