You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
