I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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