I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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