marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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