how can u be prego again
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
