How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
