to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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