i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
