you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
