with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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