96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
