Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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