Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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