I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
