that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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