We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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