It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
