At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
