How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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