I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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