Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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