That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Bring me that man meat
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
