He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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