Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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