I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
