I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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