Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
