It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
