She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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