i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
