their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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