erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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