two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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