this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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