she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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