69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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