whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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