Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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