I smell stomach acid.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
