Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
