Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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