I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
