Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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