hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
