you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
