i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
