the condom got lost in my hair
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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