i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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