Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
