Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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