He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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