i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
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third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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