I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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