Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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