I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
