I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
