you have to choose: penises or morals?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
