i can't believe i had my finger in that
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
