I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
