she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
