Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
