guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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