Screwed.edu
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
