Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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